is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
