I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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