Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
