I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
