In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
