I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
i think im in europe. pls send help
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
