All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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