The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
