I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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