At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
