I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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