Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
