I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
