im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I think I am morally bankrupt
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
