just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Randomize
