Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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