I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I want her autograph on my taint
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
