I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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