if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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