He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
