haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
