Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
soo... how was my night?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize