Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize