it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
