Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
