I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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