Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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