yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
