yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i think i scared a bird with my dick
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
