Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Randomize
