I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Randomize
