You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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