my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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