I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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