It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
