He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
