so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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