I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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