you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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