I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
