Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize