I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Randomize
