I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
