brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
