3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
