Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
