everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
