I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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