it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
