Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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