that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
There r osticjed everywhere
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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