my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
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