Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Randomize
