its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize