Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Randomize
