it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
