he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
