I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
