She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
